I was rereading New Moon for the ten billionth time out of sheer boredom... and pathetically enough, I've come to understand the mind of the main character, Isabella Swan. This understanding comes mainly from being able to relate to what is written in the book, but also comes from just having read it so many times.

The following passages are evidence for the analysis I'm going to present.

New Moon, Chapter 23 "The Truth", page 510

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept---as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!"
I was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible. He shook my shoulder again, not hard, but hard enough that my teeth rattled a little.
"Bella," he sighed. "Really, what were you thinking!"
And so I started to cry. The tears welled up and then gushed miserably down my cheeks.
"I knew it," I sobbed. "I knew I was dreaming."
"You're impossible," he said, and he laughed once--a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."
I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he whispered, his face paler than his usual pale--I could see that even in the dim light. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"
"It never made sense for you to love me," I explained, my voice breaking twice. "I always knew that."



New Moon, Chapter 24 "Vote", page 525

"I'll earn your trust back somehow," he murmured, mostly to himself. "If its my final act."
"I trust you," I assured him, "It's me I don't trust."
"Explain that, please."
He'd slowed to a walk--I could only tell because the wind ceased--and I guessed that we weren't far from the house. In fact, I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in the darkness.
"Well---" I struggled to find the right way to phrase it. "I don't trust myself to be... enough. To deserve you. There's nothing about me that could hold you."




And I love how real she is. Its the reason this book is my favorite, the reason I read it over and over again. She's just like everyone else. She's completely normal, even though theres all these fantastic things that happen around her. She's just... human.
Bella sees Edward as this... beautiful, amazing, perfect and divine being. She feels that there's nothing about her that could hold the interest of perfection. There's nothing special enough about her to deserve someone she regards almost as a god. It completely, utterly confuses her that Edward can find it in himself to love her when she sees nothing for him to love.
And isn't this just like every other teenage girl in love? I feel almost like I'm describing myself, how I feel about Cole. Insecurity. It's natural, its human. I love how the author does that...
In the end, however... she doesn't doubt Edward's love for her. She knows he loves her, even if perhaps she doesn't understand it.